He makes a viewfinder with his thumbs and index fingers and holds it up to the gap in the gorge. It looks as if an angry giant has torn the jagged, red-brown cliffs asunder, exposing the bright blue sky dotted with fluffy clouds as it stomped and stormed its way home along the river.

A crow caws loudly and persistently, echoing around the hot cliffs and warning him they are a long way from home.

He slowly lowers the finger frame until he finds the bright yellow swim noodle floating in the middle of the waterhole. The wind blows it gently across the water and the waves lap at it, pushing it further into the middle.

The same breeze catches his hair and blows it into the frame, so he breaks it, brushes his hair aside and resumes watching the noodle floating on the water.

***

The hot air slapped him in the face as he wound down the window. Three weeks on the road now and that hot slap never failed to remind him that he was in a hostile world. He looked over at her as she slept and wondered about her. Wondered about them. She twitched in her sleep, and he wondered if she dreamt of him.

She was dreaming they adopted a border collie. They loved the little ball of fur and had trained it to sit, lie down, and come on command. They were playing in the park together and threw a ball that rolled onto a busy road. Their little border collie ran after it and was crushed by a truck driving past. She woke up startled and with salty tears running down her face. She looked over at him and wondered why he didn’t notice.

It had been a rash decision to pack up and leave, one that both had hoped would glue their relationship back together. They had left their suits and laptops, calendars and events and future plans on the kitchen table, hurriedly packed their suitcases, and ran away from themselves.

***

In Ballarat they panned for gold and after lots of hard work in the searing sun found some sparkly golden light at the bottom of their pan. It turned out to be fool’s gold.

‘Fool’s gold!’

She giggled as they dusted off their feet and left Ballarat behind. ‘I didn’t know it actually existed.’

‘They could’ve told us, right? I mean -’

‘Yeah, it sounds like a tabloid headline…City Couple Fooled by Fool’s Gold!’

They laughed together as he looked in the rear vision mirror and noticed a road train approaching fast.

***

In the outback town of Great Western, they drank bubbly and bet on long shots at the Great Western Cup on Australia Day. They lost their money, drank more bubbly and collapsed into bed late in the evening, slurring and feeling in love again.

‘That was fun.’ he whispered.

‘Yeah. We needed this.’

She sighed. He held her in his arms. They slept.

***

In Coober Pedy they were the only guests at Riba’s Underground Camping and Caravan Park, ‘the only place in Australia where you can pitch a tent or throw out a swag underground’ according to the tourist blurb.  They walked out of the sunshine, down a ramp and into the cool darkness at the start of the labyrinth.

They stared into the catacombs, and she reached for his hand.

‘You go first,” he said. She turned to him. ‘Don’t scare me though.’

‘I won’t’ but he wanted to.

She took tentative steps into the gloom.

‘Keep going…no, actually I’ll go ahead’ and he ran into the blackness and left her alone. ‘Don’t leave me!’ but he was already gone.

She walked slowly into the underground cave and listened for his footsteps but heard nothing. ‘Hello…come out now, I don’t want to be scared!’ Nothing.

She rounded the corner and stared down a stone corridor with round skylights that let the sunshine through like torchlight from above. She lightly dragged her fingertips along the cool, rough wall and breathed in the dusty air. She thought of the puppy in her dream again. Maybe they should have bought a dog instead of coming on this trip. This was just an escape, a temporary band-aid to cover a seeping wound that would still be there when they returned.

The dust suddenly swirled around her as he jumped out of the blackness and grabbed her tender throat. She screamed.

‘You stupid fucking prick!’

He could not stop laughing even though he somehow knew he had crossed a line with her. She pummeled him with her tiny fists until he grabbed her arms and squeezed so hard that she whimpered with pain.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

***

After Riba’s, a cool change blew over their relationship again.

He had never been very good at ending relationships, but he now knew that was exactly what he needed to do.

***

In Alice Springs they laughed when they bought the bright yellow swim noodles from Kmart. He didn’t know why, but there is laughter, smiling eyes and a playful mood between them. Maybe everything will be alright after all. A tourist guide warned them that people often drowned at Ellery Creek Big Hole, so they decided to play it safe and buy these ridiculously bright noodles in case they need a rest while swimming.

The drive out to Ellery Creek was gorgeous and hot, the West MacDonnell Ranges shadowing them like enormous dinosaurs that had fought and died many years ago, leaving their red and jagged spiny backbones sticking out of the green earth to bear witness to their struggle.

They turn down the red dusty track to Ellery Creek and when they get to the end, they find they are alone.

***

The sun lays heavily on their shoulders as they wander down the short track and are greeted by a sprawling waterhole surrounded by river gums and hugged by the rugged red cliffs of the gorge. The water is a blue-black tea-tree colour and forms a large, round pool which narrows down as the two towering walls of the gorge close in on it towards the back of the pool. He can see a beach beyond this narrow chasm and immediately wants to explore further. She doesn’t.

‘But you know I’m not a strong swimmer!’ ‘That’s why we bought the noodles.’

‘I still don’t feel safe, and I don’t want to wait alone on the bank here. What if someone comes?’

‘Oh, for God’s sake!’ This outburst echoes around the cliffs and a crow caws mournfully.

He stares at her, and he does not know how to end it. He prefers to let relationships slowly peter out and die, like ignoring a house plant while it slowly dries up and finally perishes.

‘I’m sorry. Try to follow me, okay? It will be alright.’ And with that he turns and strides away, slipping into the water with his bright yellow noodle and begins swimming towards the beckoning chasm.

***

I am swimming into a Streeton landscape, he thinks, as the jagged gorge walls slowly close in over him and he is drawn into the stark red, ochre and creamy-white colors of the rocks sharply contrasting with the azure sky and little fluffy clouds beyond. He hears her kicking and spluttering behind him, but he does not want to stop and check, so quickens his pace, turns the corner and is delighted to find a small beach with the softest sand he has ever touched.

He climbs out of the water, shakes himself off and stretches his muscles after the swim. Finding a sandy, shady retreat, he sits down and looks around. He watches for lizards, but there are none. The only sound is the crows swapping gossip. The silence between caws is warm and reassuring. He imagines being the only person left on earth.

And then she cries out his name.

He rolls his eyes and wonders what’s wrong this time. A leaf in the water she’s mistaken for a snake?

She cries out again and it sounds more urgent this time.

That leaf again, he thinks.

He meditates on the gorge wall in front of him. It rises up like a wave with a crest of ochre, orange and pale blue and looks ready to crash down upon him. He settles down in the sand and caresses the blue-green rocks around him and feels perfectly safe.

Her garbled scream wakes him from this solitary fantasy, and he sighs. He grabs his bright yellow noodle, eases himself back into the cold water, and begins swimming back to the main pool. ‘Cooee!’ he yells at the top of his voice, enjoying the echo as he slips between the gorge walls, swims around the corner and sees nothing except her bright yellow noodle bobbing gently in the water. He stops and blinks. He looks to the right and the left, but she is not there.

‘She must have left the noodle and swam to shore’ he thinks and resumes his leisurely swim.

He clambers out of the water over some rough rocks and slowly surveys the area. Cicadas chirrup in the heat and crows observe him from their lofty perches. Squinting against the laser-like sun, he sees her clothes piled up where she’d left them next to his, her beach bag, her sunglasses and her shoes. He picks up her tee shirt and breathes her in. He thinks about her laughing with him this morning when they bought the noodles, and her gentle kiss when they woke up. His throat suddenly constricts, and he gulps for air. ‘Cooee!’ ‘Cooee!’ ‘Cooee!’ he screams into the hot afternoon, but the words bounce around the rocks and fall into cold water without an answer.

***

He sits down and makes a viewfinder with his thumbs and index fingers, holds it up to the gap in the gorge and imagines an angry giant tearing the jagged, red-brown cliffs asunder, exposing the white-blue sky painted with fluffy clouds as it crashes through the cliffs on its way home.

He slowly lowers his finger frame until he finds the bright yellow swim noodle floating in the middle of the waterhole being slowly pushed to and fro by the wind.

Crows sit above him in the trees and watch him, cawing to each other and sharing the news.  

He takes a shovel from the car, finds a secluded patch and buries her things. The rocks are piping hot, but he ignores the pain and piles them on top to hide his work.

He picks up a smooth round rock and skims it along the surface of the waterhole.

He was never very good at ending relationships.